What do those guys in the NHL penalty boxes actually do for a living??
Have you ever watched an NHL game and the referees call a penalty and then the camera pans into the penalty box and you see some schmuck sitting there in an NHL crested blazer and you think to yourself “what the fuck do these guys do all night?“
Well, have no fear, The Boss’ research is providing you answers that are available to us on the World Wide Web of what these $65,000 - $80,000 NHL employees provide us.
1) OPEN AND CLOSE A DOOR
Maybe the most complex act that an off-ice penalty box official will conduct at any point throughout the game, the door opening and closing. A monumental part of any NHL game requires a separate man paid by the National Hockey League to open and close the door for the players. Now you’re probably thinking “well, they are professional athletes, they deserve to have people opening and closing the doors for them.“ So I guess chalk that one up to a necessity for an off-ice penalty box official.
2) RUN A STOPWATCH
Not just anyone can track the official time of a game with the start stop feature of the modern, yet still historic stopwatch product. Technological blackouts and system failures happen still in the year of 2025, are they common? No, not at all. Tell me this though: if that scenario ever does come about in an NHL game of any magnitude, aren’t we gonna thank our lucky stars that stopwatch Johnny paid by the National Hockey League is sitting in that penalty box for us with the official time? I know I will be thankful!
3) REPORT ANY “BAD BEHAVIOUR”
Just like the shitty, geeky kid in your junior high class, these NHL off-ice penalty box officials are tasked with the role of tattling to the referees. If the player in the penalty box serving a penalty becomes a meanie and dishes out any sort of unjust, disrespectful behaviour, the penalty box guys can crack the wipe and report them. Do these officials go into the locker room after a game and shit talk to players? I don’t think so. Another reason why the NHL needs to have these off-ice penalty box officials.
4) ENSURE PENALTIES ARE SERVED FULLY
Nobody likes the kid on the playground that cheats and makes himself “unfrozen“ in a game of freeze tag. Nobody likes the kid on the playground that was two hand touched, but says he wasn’t two hand touched in a game of touch football. And especially, nobody likes the kid on the playground that’s supposed to count to 30 for a game of hide and seek but only counts to 20 and gets a head start. Shameful. This is why the NHL have these off-ice penalty box officials to ensure that these professional athletes don’t leave the box even a second earlier than they are supposed to to respect the game and the institution that we’ve been brought upon with these rules that we continue to live by in the world of hockey.
I’d like to think after this article that we have uncovered a position within the sport that does not get enough credit. Will they one day have off-ice penalty box official day in the NHL? Like they do National Tight End day in football? I sure hope so, because we need to be reminded of the job and duties these men and women serve on a game-to-game basis through the NHL season that goes unnoticed too much.
Thank you all for your service.
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